| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2008|12:50 am] |
basically i do this shit to myself because i know in advance what i am getting into and im all i have to blame. my mistake.
problem solved.
learning from this repetitive mistake is the real problem.
hmm... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|06:39 am] |
okay, well spring break surely blew major cock.
tmrws gonna suck too, i know it! :D
i do not understand why whenever i am flying on top of the world, best mood ever, it never seems to last.
why the fuck is that?
it always ALWAYS has to come down.
like i proudly say not to long ago ive never been happier.
all of a sudden. BAM! ive been feelin like shit:[
why the fuck have i done nothing productive so far this spring break
i feel like a fucking bum
whatever, screw this shit.
ps. why the fuck do i only write in these shits when im in a bad mood.
i seem like a depressive fuck haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|06:06 am] |
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i figured after ...lets say a good 2 years of the same exact bullshit, people would actually grow the fuck up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2008|12:19 am] |
2008! wooooooo:]
im pretty damn satisfied about how my year ended
a great way to end the year
hopefully this new year is just as good:] |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|06:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
wow, i totally forgot people use livejournal. haha.
i always just end up using this when i cant fall asleep and theres nothing else to do and i want to let my feelings out some way or the other lol
goddamnit its been so fucking cold out i NEED winter clothes like asap
i havent been shopping in forever. what the fuck.
and ive just been online shopping and feel like a loser.
i want to do some ACTUAL shopping, thank you very much.
im super pissed though because i was looking through all the new shit i need and i realize how much shit i DID have before i started letting people borrow my clothes.
and how much fucking money i wasted allowing people to just borrow my shit and never give it back.
like im SO sick and tired of this crap right now.
i have like absolutely NO clothes anymore because bitches cant keep track of things that arent even theirs. like be more responsible for other's people shit, seriously.
im sorry, but how annoying is it? come on.
i am DEFINITELY NEVER letting ANYONE borrow anything ever again.
okay i just had to let that out, haha. feel better now:]
anywayyyyyy, i having a tincy bit of friend problems lately.
i found to realize theres not that many people to count on and to just learn to not give a shit about anyone i used to because they never gave a shit about me.
what fucking ever yo. i cant stand some people right now.
why cant anyone just grow the fuck up already.
and i especially hate when people think they have control of your life and want to change who you are for their benefit.
alright, JUST to let you know.
i think you are fucking CRAZY if you are gonna try and change me because
first of all, you obviously cant accept me as a friend.
second, i will not deal with this bullshit.
and third, i wont change for anyone.
OH and i fucking hate people who are totally against one thing and then the next second act like they want to do it.
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
get a life.
dont criticize me because you are jealous that you cannot do it and then complain about not doing it when you said you hate it because YOU DONT MAKE SENSE AT ALL.
godfuckingdamnit.
okay, i think im done with venting my feelings.
i might have came on a little strong but i think i got over everything:] |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2007|09:30 am] |
pre-season is just a few hours away. oh god.
i love how im up too, when i should seriously be sleeping and resting sine the next few hours of my life will basically be hell.
yerp, i must be the smartest person doing what im doing right now. haha.
goodbye partying for a really long time:[
blah. that makes me incredibly sad. but im super dedicated to field hockey so its a sacrifice im willing to take:/
basically summer is over, since i cant really do anything now since field hockey.
whatever, ill be in shape before school starts:]
i guess. pftttttt. i should really get some sleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2007|04:45 pm] |
hmmm.. this summer has been pretty interesting lately
partially kind of lame, but for the most part i had a pretty good time
warped tour was probably what made up for it
it was amazing<3 beats last years by like 6248989179582018 times:]
on the down side, some people have just been causing severe irritation to me recently
but i could live with it i guess-.-
as summer is ending.. all i really want is for it to be complete.
but thats not possible when i always feel like a little part is missing:/
and i think i know whats missing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|03:34 am] |
its either extremely boring or just too much to handle.
perfect to describe my summer so far. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|05:45 am] |
ive never been happier in my entire life! :]]]]]]]]]
<33333333333 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|03:45 am] |
blahhh two more weeks of school left
im so happy this shit is finally over
actually i shouldnt be celebrating quite yet
goddamn finals are this/next week
ugh most stressful time ever
just because it determines basically my entire grade
ive been borderline on almost every subject
i have like a 90ish on everything
and if i screw it up it will obv go down:[
and i dont want it to!
because i love it when my mommy is proud of me:]
haha im so gay but shes been super mad at me lately
but before we were bonding i guess hahah
I JUST NEED ALL A's GODDAMNIT
anywayssssss
im so confused right now
i really hate boys
theyre all the fucking same
im never gonna find one that will supply me with what i want
nor am i gonna find one that can settle with me and only me
fucking dirtbags
the one time where i think im where im suppose to be
and finally happy with the right guy
i get proven wrong
whatever im so tired of this shit
i feel like an idiot for even thinking i had a chance
oh wellllllll theres more fish in the sea
psh, who am i kidding
im never gonna find anyone, i know it
and i get so confused at how some girls can just get so many guys
people are probably laughing at me writing this
but im being completely serious
and no, i dont get a lot of guys, so please
im tired of this image everyone has of me lately
it really pisses me off and i just need to get it off my chest
okay, you dont know the real story about anything that has gone on in my life and the shit you hear is probably more false than true
i try things to make myself feel better about the horrible things that happened in my life and it didnt work out how i planned
and i fall into little traps people set up for me
and got hurt in the process
but now ive learned form my mistakes
and im still the same person i was how ever many years ago
so you shouldnt be treating me any differently
so you all could just fuck yourselves if you all really believe that bullshit that was SO long ago and dont even have any idea what really went on
because if you think i was proud or happy of any of it
or even wanted any of it to occur
then you are sooooo wrong on way many many levels
okay, thanks.
whatever, im just happy my real friends will always stick by me
thats all i really need |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2007|04:25 am] |
i cant sleeeeeep at all and its 4 am
super gayyyyy
i have a huge test and two quizzes tmrw too
perhaps ill be sleeping through most of them
and just bullshit every answer i possibly could
actually, ill miraciously do good on them most likely... well hopefully
since school has been a main priority for me lately
and ive improved tremendously in that area since the beginning of the year
and it actually makes me happy most of the life
since im usually thought of as "dumb"
so yayyyyyy
i dont know, i just feel as if there isnt too much to really live for for me recently
i try too hard for some of the stupidest things
and im finally ready to give up, or i have given up
theres not really too much to look forward in my life
so im trying my hardest to set goals for myself
but im not too good at that either
ive been pretty content lately
but theres always that one thing thats missing
and im not sure what yet
or maybe i do, but im afraid to admit it
i think ive come to the conclusion that i can never really be good enough for anyone
like honestly, anyone.
i can never reach that standard that you ever so need
and it fucking bugs me out
im happy i moved on, but its just always another stupid challenge with you and every other guy
seriously, what does she have that i dont, i wanna know
thats what ive been contemplating for these past few days
and i barely even know you for the matter
but theres just something about you
ugh i cant even think straight at all
im gonna go make some coffee so i could last the day
hopefully i dont take another nap after school
and end up trying to fight insomnia all night again:P |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2007|10:26 am] |
the thing i want the most i can never getttt
i guess you can never really get what you want if you think about it
it pretty much sucks
ugh i hate it the most when you take things for granted
and when you dont have it anymore
its all you want
it fucking kills me inside
blahhhh im dumb
:/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2007|02:26 pm] |
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i really should think twice about who i choose to trust nowadays. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2007|04:34 pm] |
MY LIFE IS BORING, OK BYE!
:[[[[[ |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2007|08:39 pm] |
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i really have enjoyed these past couple of days. :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 6th, 2007|05:35 pm] |
some people seriously need to get the fuck over things
and if you really dont like me, then you honestly need to stop being so fucking fake.
alright, thank youuuu
but besides that,
everything has been pretty damn good:D
im really looking foward to some things in the near future:]
things have been so postive lately and i really love it
and i hope things could continue this way
and hopefully more things will work out for me
woooop woooooop! :]]] |
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| hmm |
[Feb. 24th, 2007|01:46 pm] |
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this week is improving, i suppose. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|01:00 pm] |
whyyyyy am i so weak and unstable.
i need to be strong. for the sake of everyone. and myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|04:18 pm] |
i really dont understand why things have been this way lately
i reallllllly dont
what did i do to deserve this
my life is already falling apart
and this just makes everything worse
i dont know
i guess after ive so good at hiding so many things from my parents recently
that it just became so addicting and i took advantage of all of it
and now they just HAD to find out everything
like all in the same fucking day
jesus christttttt
like i dont know whats worse than seeing your parents like cry because their child is a disappointment to them because it just hurts so much for me to see that
why did i pick that dumb day to do everything
i basically just fucked myself over
i have no privileges now what so ever
im just screwedddddd
i dont see how anything could get worse
i really dont
theres probably only one thing my parents dont know about me now
and if they ever find out
i dont know what i could do with myself
ugh everyone should really just stay away from me
im such a horrible person
i dont know how i live knowing all these terrible things ive been doing
and how i keep fucking up
why must it be this hardddd
:[ |
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